Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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