I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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