whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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