I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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