my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
