so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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