Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have aggressive nipples.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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