so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
