Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
