You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
