I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need to calm my uterus...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
