he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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