I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
