sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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