She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.