Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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