how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
