literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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