Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
