I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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