even my farts smell like vagina
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize