i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize