Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
