girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
