respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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