I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
