I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
