Banned from zoo.
Again?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
