just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
