Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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