My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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