I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
