yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
