covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
