I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
