in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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