i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
