she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
