if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
