Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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