Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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