a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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