I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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