Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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