Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
