You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
