It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
