Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She needs sedatives and a leash
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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