my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
