I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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