Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
