On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
