She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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