I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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