you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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