I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
