Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
