if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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